Parents

God has been teaching me so much lately about how he feels towards me and tonight, it was through my parents. I had been nervous all week when talking to my parents because I had recently purchased a 57 pound (approx. $88) ticket to Phantom of the Opera. I knew I didn't really have the funds to afford it when I bought it (who invented credit cards anyway?!) but I bought it anyway. So I was talking to my dad on the phone today and I just still felt bad about it so I told him what I had done. His reaction? ... He laughed. He didn't mention ANYTHING about my spending the money that we really don't have. He wasn't angry at all! He actually just cracked a joke! I know this isn't a really serious situation and believe me ... I know about horribly awkward situations involving telling things to parents ... but still, the relief and utter love I felt from my dad at the moment when I was expecting something totally different shocked me even still. Then, God starting talking: "This is how I feel towards you, Sarah ... just try and fathom this. Yes, this was a silly thing, a very little thing for a dad to forgive. This is how I feel towards even your most serious mistakes you make. I - love - you. You will always get this outcome from me, no matter what you expect my reaction to be, this is how I'll respond. Nothing you do can ever change how much I love you. Nothing." Incredible, huh? I almost couldn't believe my ears. I mean, this wasn't anything that I hadn't really realized before, but to have Him connect this to a tangible (albeit silly) experience that I had just had made ALL the difference for me. It made His feelings for me even more real and tangible. It really took my breath away.

No matter who are you, no matter what you've done, you can never shake off Jesus' love for you. If he can love me, he can love you. :) Trust me. But more importantly, trust Him.

still faithful.

well, i'm still here in ireland and i am still being continually amazed by Jesus. i feel so pursued by Him, so wanted, so special. i am truly his and his alone and no one can take that away from me.

i have updates! i think i mentioned earlier that i had a real financial need this summer and that i needed to find a full time job asap! well, low and behold, he found me one! i'll be working at cedar point this summer in breakers resort doing housekeeping as well as continuing to work at bath & body works except i'll be transferring to the one in sandusky. exactly what i needed - he provided for.

i just have so many other cool stories about how he has just blessed me and loved on me. he is truly doing amazing things with my brokenness, its incredible.

in about 8 days, my sister will be flying to belfast to come stay with me for a whole week! we're going to fly to london and spend the week (and her birthday) there. i cannot wait!

well, more will come; knowing me, it won't be for like a month but i shall try to include more stories and such.

my facebook page has all my photos as well :)

Deut. 29:29

Updating blogs is just seriously not my thing apparently. So much has happened since the last time that I "blogged" (just sounds so funny).

A couple of my friends and I took a trip up to Pittenweem, Scotland to see a friend get ordained. Talk about a growing experience on patience! There were about 13 of us living under one roof for 4 days. Did I also mention that there was only one shower?! It was by God's grace alone that we made it out all alive. JUST KIDDING! I swear I just keep meeting the most amazing, warm, caring people around every new bend in this adventure. The same was true for Scotland. I am so thankful for all of these friendships I am developing - all over the world as well! God just took my breath away with the beauty of Edinburgh, Scotland. LOVE that place so much! I must have taken around 150 photos. I have a feeling that London & Barcelona are going to be about the same.

The days since my return from Scotland have been filled with school (notice no "schoolwork") and hanging out with my amazing hostel family here. Me and two of my friends from Moody went up to the Beachlawn Hotel the other day to attempt to tackle some of our papers we have to write and instead spend the whole 2 hours almost in tears from laughing so hard (or at least I did). I have never laughed so much or felt so free here. I cannot believe that I'm here still, in Northern Ireland, getting pursued by Him.

Something really neat that Jesus showed me the other day in chapel was that one of the reasons why I am in Europe going to school and not say, back at Moody, is because He wanted me to get away and get to a place where I could constantly be reminded of Him and SEE Him in everything, mainly nature & architecture. He is blessing me with this semester of traveling around Europe because He wants to draw me even more deeply into Himself. And can I tell you, it is SO working :)

And yet (if that weren't enough), the thing that I am probably most excited for is this summer and upcoming fall. I have absolutely no idea what I will be doing but I am so excited to see how God will provide for my financial needs as well as where He is going to lead me next.

My Jesus is truly all I need.

Peace.

Beautiful, isn't it? This was the view from the ruins of a monastery that I visited. It was so full of peace and tranquility. Peace is exactly what Jesus has been showing me by completely changing my life once again. To sum it all up - I am not returning to Moody in the fall. I don't know yet if He just wants me to take one semester off, or if this will lead to a year or more. It is nothing against Moody; I absolutely LOVE it there. God has just been teaching me lately about trust, about completely letting go and just diving into His arms - completely abandonment. And this is exactly that. I am completely trusting Him to provide me with a job and a ministry to get involved into ... I'll be separated from my friends, I'll be living at home, and completely reliant on Him. Normally, this prospect would not excite me at all. I love my friends at Moody - I LOVE having social things to do at the tip of my fingertips. Living at home means I wouldn't have that. Its more like occasional social activities with just a few close friends. So normally, this would not excite me, however (and this is proof that this is so truly my LORD), I am so excited! I cannot wait to see what His plan is! I am SO excited to know that I will have free time and less distractions to just pour myself even more into my relationship with Jesus. That is what I love about Ireland. I have been at peace because of the absence of lots of schoolwork and the fact that I'm not working while I'm over here. God has been able to pursue me in a way that He hasn't been able to before. I am so loving every minute.

My God has a plan. I might not see it or fully comprehend it, but He knows exactly what's going on. I am so fully confident in Him.

"Because I am righteous, I will see you. When I awake, I will see you face to face & be satisfied."

PSALM 17.15

Still in Awe -

I just cannot believe where I am ... I'm living in Northern Ireland, I'm going to London for spring break (with my amazing sister), sometime next week I'll be going to Scotland and in March, I'm traveling to Barcelona. SERIOUSLY?! God has done things with my life that I never thought would've been possible. I am this incredible journey and it is all because of him, & HIS dreams for my life.

My prayer is that you let God completely dictate your future. He has bigger dreams for you than you ever could come up with!

The Lovely Green Isles -

Well, I finally made it to Northern Ireland. I've been here officially a week now and it has already been life changing. My God is so faithful to me to bring me to this wonderful place - Belfast Bible College, located in a small village called Dunmurry, about a ten minute train ride from Belfast.

My first weekend here, my new friend Tymea (from Germany) & I took the train into Belfast and explored. Talk about a beautiful city, so full of life and color ... I mean colour. :) That Sunday, Claire, Tymea and I traveled back to Belfast to see Sherlock Holmes at the Odeom, their super sweet cinema there. When you buy a ticket, you are actually assigned a row and seat! The Odeom is located in Great Victoria Square, which houses a mall that is uniquely designed. The mall and stores all revolve around the circular elevator centre that is in the middle of the mall. Everything is covered, yet still outside. If you look all the way up towards the ceiling, you'll see a big, beautiful dome. Travel all the way up to it, and you will see the entire city of Belfast laid out around you. All you can do is just truly marvel at God's creation. Ireland is so beautiful and breathtaking. I am loving every minute of it!

Monday started classes for most of the BBC students. My last class of the week ends around 4pm on Thursday. Classes are set up much differently here than in the states. You have most classes here just one time a week, for about 4 hours at a time. Tuesday through Friday at 12 we have midday prayer. It is so amazing because I get the opportunity to worship with brothers and sisters from about 30 different countries. Amazing, right?! It is just a taste of what heaven will be like and I cannot wait!

Thursday, a group of us went up to the local pub for a "pubquiz". Its where all the people in the pub form teams and answer several rounds of questions that range from movies, sports, to beer and cars. It was so fun and so definitely Irish.

Saturday, our group went a day trip up to Carrickfergus & Giant's Causeway. I cannot even begin to describe the beauty that I saw today. The pictures I took do not even do the scenery justice. I still cannot believe that I am here!

God is love. I know that, you know that ... we've all been taught that. But what does that mean, personally, to me? God loves me, but with what kind of love? What am I to him? That is what I am wrestling with tonight amidst the utter darkness of my room and the emptiness it contains. I feel alone, there is no one in my room, but am I truly alone? Is my loving God with me? Is he with me even in my darkest hour? Or my greatest triumph?

Yes.

He is.

The truth is that he loves me in the most intimate, and passionate way. A kind of love that propelled him to suffer agony, betrayal, torture, and death all on my behalf. That is the man, the king, the Lord, who loves me and who is with me in my empty and hollow room. That is the God that I serve, that I give my life too, my heart too ... That is who I want to be captivated by, because he is captivated by me.

"[I] won't let you stumble, [I] won't fall asleep. Not on your life! I, Israel's Guardian

will never doze or sleep. I am your Guardian, right at your side to protect you-

Shielding you from sunstroke, sheltering you from moonstroke.

[I] guard you from every evil, [I] guard your very life.

[I] guard you when you leave and when you return,

[I] guard you now, [I] guard you always."

-Psalm 121, The Message.